The Raven

I have been remiss in adding to my blog due to a slight side effect of treatment. After a fairly moderate 4 treatments, treatment, and my condition decided to show me this is no joke, no light affair, and that this is not, and is not going to be easy. The incident happen one night after my fourth treatment, and I was to utilize the facility. What I didn't know, is that one of the extreme side effects of treatment, is constipation. So on this fateful Sunday evening, one day after the treatment ended, I sat down to do what we all do on a daily, or for some, bi-daily basis. Only in this case, that which normally happens, did not. And while the feeling of 'it' happening persisted, nothing, and i mean, nothing, was happening. This continued for approximately two hours, at which time I was going to ring for an ambulance, because I had mentally pinged myself as having what I believed was a serious block. About two hours in, I decided to try a glass of warm water... well, that provided the jolt necessary to get things rockin' and rollin' and what was produced was the largest hard stone/brick, that I have ever felt release or encountered in my life. My belly sucked inward and I truly felt as though my insides were going with all else. The feeling was likely akin to a woman giving birth, but worse. I for one, am now one man, who can with all earnest, say, that I 'understand that feeling.' A 'rip' and a 'tear' and WHAMMM, the gate was open and out came the longest, and largest waste product that I have ever seen out of any animal, wild, human, or otherwise. Though a fantastic releif to have been through, the damage had been done. My skin, due to treatment, becomes excesivly delicate to touch, heat, cold, etc. and so what may have been a regular old rip, tear, etc. to the lay person, to me became a an intense skin condition. The days to follow were worse than the event itself. Day after day, I would sweat beads and my heart would beat as if going into a battle zone, everytime the impulse to 'utilize' would come up. Mornings meant hell, because mornings ware my time. Hell, because each time was as if shards of glass were being poured into and out of me with an intense heat added to the mix. As I explained to the four doctors, western and otherwise, who I consulted to quickly figure out a solution to the misery, it was quite simply the worst physical pain, I had ever encountered. So much that thoughts of this new found condition were secondary, healing anything else became secondary as I obsessed over the 24/hour a day throbbing pain I experienced. But then, a week or so later, the daily battles stopped and the pain lessened from an easy 11, to a 5. Ok, so this is something new. A new experience. A new battle and a physical awakening to the true fight my body is dealing with. It woke me up, even more, and the energy and adrenaline that I produced to deal with it, shook me up and I decided that instead of fear in the morning, that I would relish the opportunity to expereince a daily pain, that I have never before known. I decided that each morning, this pain, will make me stronger in my fight for health, and my fight for life. Drinking straight garlic and Char was no longer as difficult I will tell you that. My body began to heal, and though it is a continuing saga, due to the fact that as I am about to heal, treatment begins which usually brings me back to the beginning, but I realize that I do have larger battles to fight, and thus what was once a large obsticle, is now a joke. Of all the pains to have... Like Ravens in a hurricane, these obstacles must be looked at from the vantage point of something fun, a new challenge to take on. With strength and will power to spare, for reasons still not completely clear, I have chosen this path to regain strength over my true self and what is to become of it. With laughter, and fun, and spirit, and intrigue the battle moves on. Still juicing, even after two plus months. Still eating oatmeal every day, now with added black berries, hemp seed and chia seeds. This new life of discipline, of going to bed on time, and of living with true integrity, is fascinating. The world that speaks to you when you speak your truth with your tongue, and yell secrets out loud, because you can and should, is a world without barriers. I realize now, that challenges are not always met with victory in every sense of the word, but that how we view these challenges can always be met with victory, depending on how we choose to view them, play with them, laugh at them, and step outside of them to observe them. As time marches forward, and all of us are now two plus months older than when I first started this blog, I for one take a moment every day to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I love myself, that I will from here on out pledge to take care of my body/temple, and that I will do my part to accept the challenges ahead with the same wild abandon that The Raven does when it allows the hurricane winds to blow it thousands of feet up and down, releasing it's wings as it is flug around, only to grab a hold of it's fellow raven friend, and frolic in the challenges it is facing. Eventually the hurrican stops, and then normality sets in. I have never been one for normality. LIVE WELL