Tuesday, March 15, 2011
It Clicked
Sure, winning is great, and in some cases, mandatory in order to achieve a feeling of accomplishment. But sometimes, never giving up, fighting the best fight possible, is in itself winning, and for that matter, living. With this perspective, living isn't the art of surviving unscathed, and coming out of a dark situation, perfected, but rather winning, can be the mere act of continuing to fight, to battle. Everybody is fighting everyday for something, and it's in this fight, in our struggle to push through boundaries, or merely to live with ourselves on this terrestrial plane, that we as humans evolve and are able to take on the next level in the game of life. I understand now why my doctor said I must prepare for a lifetime battle, because with this disease, or not, I, just like everybody else, is in for a lifetime battle. Odds are good that I will never be rid of this disease, but I can't let that ever stop me from fighting it. And with this shift in perspective, tonight on my drive home on the 110 from a meeting, I lowered all my windows, blasted my music, sped past the beautiful downtown L.A. skyline, and finally in over a month of living in a 24 hour a day panic attack, was able to simply enjoy the moment, knowing that at that moment, not answering my cell phone, or thinking of disease, I was winning my freedom back again. Freedom I realized is a choice, a state of mind, not a physical barrier to overcome, and in that moment when it clicked, I was more alive than I had ever been. LIVE WELL
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Dear World
Dear World -
This morning you provided me a partner filled with love, laughter, play, a beautiful smile peering at me with adoration, and eyes filled with joy. In the kitchen you provided me an amazing pineapple likely from far away shores, which I was able to cut into and feel nurtured by the succulent juices and healing enzymes. By afternoon you provided me a wonderful crisp day to Rollerblade down the bike path and admire other humans laughing, loving, contemplating, drinking, smoking, and in some cases, simply being. Thank you world, for despite this health burden which you have placed on the shoulders of myself, and my loved ones, I am certain you have a plan, and you know what you are doing, and in allowing me the strength to effortlessly blade down the bike path which I have known my whole life, you provided me leniency in my suffering, and how thankful that 7 months later, I was to able to be at it. Thank you world for the music of Mozart, Stravinsky, Tchaikovsky, and Phillip Glass. To hear their passion while sipping on your cocoa fueled ice beverage, surrounded by the fiery glow of numerous candles, while pushing the olfactory senses to the limit with yoga/mediation inspired Nag Champa incense, you allow me to be close to forgetting you could make any wrong move at all. Given such a rewarding day, I will promise you to move forward in the moment, free of fear, I will bless the stars, sip my last sip, and know that this moment is mine, free of pain, I have nothing but gratitude for it all. A conscious life, is the only one worth living. LIVE WELL
This morning you provided me a partner filled with love, laughter, play, a beautiful smile peering at me with adoration, and eyes filled with joy. In the kitchen you provided me an amazing pineapple likely from far away shores, which I was able to cut into and feel nurtured by the succulent juices and healing enzymes. By afternoon you provided me a wonderful crisp day to Rollerblade down the bike path and admire other humans laughing, loving, contemplating, drinking, smoking, and in some cases, simply being. Thank you world, for despite this health burden which you have placed on the shoulders of myself, and my loved ones, I am certain you have a plan, and you know what you are doing, and in allowing me the strength to effortlessly blade down the bike path which I have known my whole life, you provided me leniency in my suffering, and how thankful that 7 months later, I was to able to be at it. Thank you world for the music of Mozart, Stravinsky, Tchaikovsky, and Phillip Glass. To hear their passion while sipping on your cocoa fueled ice beverage, surrounded by the fiery glow of numerous candles, while pushing the olfactory senses to the limit with yoga/mediation inspired Nag Champa incense, you allow me to be close to forgetting you could make any wrong move at all. Given such a rewarding day, I will promise you to move forward in the moment, free of fear, I will bless the stars, sip my last sip, and know that this moment is mine, free of pain, I have nothing but gratitude for it all. A conscious life, is the only one worth living. LIVE WELL
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