good news...freedom

I was relieved to find out that the treatment, and discipline in all other areas has paid off. Last scans show a considerable decrease in size of problem areas, though I am all too much aware that problem areas do still exist. The type of decrease that I experienced was a huge relief given my 60/40 odds in favor of not seeing any change at all. This is far from party time, but it is a magnificent battle victory which will help me to carry on my discipline and rough treatment, with a lot of hope of beating, what some term, unbeatable. Now, set in my regimen of morning oatmeal and occasional egg white, along with a vitamin/mineral cocktail, one gallon of 9.5PH water, one or two green drinks, a fermented wheat germ mix, veggie broth in between healthy meals, healing Chinese tea, acupuncture, and meditation classes, I have decided to bring some semblance of normalcy back to my world. Today I walked down to Patrick Road House by my place, and had a delicious egg white omlette and Acia Berry, Flax Seed, Oatmeal, before a walk along the beach, green drink at Earth Bar, and Yoga. I also took a few business calls regarding a new project which I have decided to work on, part-time, in between making my body strong for bi-weekly treatments. The fact of the matter is, I love what I do, and I am good when working with the right mindset, and while I remember that for the rest of my life I will live to live, and work because I love it, I can't live without continuing to carve away at my goals. There is a huge distinction there, and unless faced with what I am faced with, it is easy to fall in a lifetime trap of never being able to distinguish the two - a path I was headed down. But I am excited to take a few calls again, attend a meeting here and there, being able to place new found health, discipline, and integrity into it, excited to notice how things are different. I may be in treatment, but I have (and I say this with extreme humility for what I am facing is not easy by a long shot) utmost confidence that I will make it out of this situation in tact, and want a stable foundation so that my future will contain the same passion, but this time, the integrity and discipline, I lacked on the first go around. It's easy to say, and it's easy to write, and when faced with life or death, it's also easy to follow. Yet with these goals in tact, and the future there in front of me, how does one not just say they want to be and act a certain way, but also live it. How can the discipline, the lessons, the teachings, stay a part of every day life, in a world filled with so much temptation, when being lazy is so easy? It's a question I always asked as I knew what the righteous path was, while taking, in many cases, the easy way out. Now, unlike then, I believe my ability to manage my way out of this situation, is based on my current thoughts about how my future life will be led. This is so important and key. Intention, followed by action, but also action thought. I want the adventure, the freedom, the victory and the story and know only by seeing a life led with discipline and integrity for myself and those around me, will I get there. There is no other way, no way under or around this very important truth. Perhaps some may not need to face this, however I realize now, my sensitive soul, body, must pay attention to this inevitable truth. This means being cautious with other peoples hearts, loving as much as possible everyone I come into contact with, be it friend, or teacher. It means that when it would be easy to simply go to sleep, spending 15 minutes making the tea, and drinking it, remembering to grab the water bottle instead of settling or sitting idle by the T.V. saying to myself "it was a long day and I deserve a break." I say this because it is past 1AM right now and it would be so easy to go to sleep without my once a day healing tea. But when something works, you can't simply skip, or skimp, or let up. See, it's not about the tea, or missing one day, it's about a mindset, a discipline, a way, which though in my professional life I did lead, in my personal life, I was completely remiss. The tea may taste bitter, the yoga stretch may burn, the consistent water drinking may make long drives and movie theater experiences different, the deep breath when being cut off in traffic may not release the emotion desired, but I am certain that somewhere somehow, this way of life alters the way the world responds, not only emotionally, but chemically as well. I am already witnessing the changes in the world around me. It may be the treatment, it may be all else, but changes are taking place and while I do sense the world is in struggle right now, I also have a calm understanding, that what is happening now, is only making everyone stronger, wiser, more loving of family and having a better understanding of that which is important. We are, after many gluttonous years, learning to tighten our belts, to make wise decisions and think a little bit more about the next move. We may not end up as wealthy with material, we may need to take a permanent drop in luxury, and if so, we will be better off because of it. It is tough out there and only the strong and disciplined will survive. And this is what makes us as a population stronger as humankind moves forward. How else can we as a people, as people, move forward. Treatment #6 begins again for me in two days. I am looking forward to the pain, to the meditative state I must enter to endure it without allowing it to weaking my spirit or resolve. It's an interesting thing because as it works to treat the problem, it also weakens the whole of the body, it affects the mind, all of which play tricks on the psyche as cells are killed off and divided. "You're dying" it tell your body. "No, I am living an experience," I must remind myself. Living, living, living, living.... No pain, no gain, but pain is the gain, the experience and being able to accept that based on free will and a choice, is to me the very definition of freedom. This is how it becomes part of every day living. When accepting and loving the pain because you can, of doing the right thing not because it's easy, but because you can, well this is a freedom that only you will experience and is for no one elses benefit but your own. This is an amazing freedom, and thus far, this is one way I plan on achieving the mentality necesssary to make it out of this. LIVE WELL